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I know that this is kind of long but I’ve been writing it for a few days now, and it is as much for me to kind of work things out in my head. I hope...you don’t mind me using you as a listener. I was just going to tell you that I went back and let Dack cane me again but I’ve been writing on EP as a kind of therapy, like when I go to Narcotics Anonymous meetings. So I decided to write as much as I can remember about my feelings and what was going on inside my head. I'm a waitress and I have to. She never made a proper will, there was no need, her death happened so suddenly. the main thing that stuck in my mind was thinking ' why am I the only one heart broken. my step brother, he never liked my mother. so he really didn't care. my step father, I figured he was trying to protect me from the greif. I was 14 when this all happened. a year later just after my 15th birthday my step father called me into his office. he said ' due to the great loss you have been through, all of us have. It smelt clean and soapy from his after work shower. It was only partly hard but with my hand on it it really stiffened. You know that feeling when you are perfectly horny and your cock wants to burst? That's how his was.He was probably secretly gay, we didn't talk about that. I was just a 20 yo guy, very horny, athletic and tanned. He was forty or so, 4" taller than me, big and strong. I put his cock in my mouth and he told me exactly how he wanted it sucked. As I followed his instructions he. This was a ritual that we hadn't shared since I was a small. She gave the old signal, but I was now no longer a lad. Indeed, I was longer, and glad to have the opportunity to be intimate again, if that was what she had in mind. If not, I was certainly going to try to put some naughty ideas in her head. Like what she must have been thinking last night, when she gave me the full gander at her breasts while I jacked off. Like when she came in my hand. Those sorts of incestuous ideas,.
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